My friend Lita and I spent last weekend at the Thousand Springs Festival of Arts trying to sell my books. We were moderately successful; we sold 19 books. Lita’s a huge help with that. But I was so hoping to have Death by Autopsy there to sell. People asked about it. I gave out flyers to announce that it was coming, and that there would be a launch party, but I still don’t have a publication date and so I can’t schedule my launch party, or my book signing at Barnes & Noble, or my appearance on KMVT and KTVB.
Speaking of KMVT, I was saddened to learn that my buds Nick and Danielle have moved on and that there are new faces on Rise and Shine. I learned that from the photographer who shot the video seen on Monday’s morning show, in which you can see my booth with both Lita and me in it, but you’d better not blink or you’ll miss us. He took my card, and said he’d give it to Brad and that I might be getting an e-mail.
Who’s gonna bring up the Big Juicy Colon now?
It’s getting really close, I think. I’ve just submitted my second round of revisions, which I hope will be the last ones. If so, next they’ll send me an actual physical book to review, and if that passes muster, I can release it for publication.
I’m not holding my breath, though. It’s close, but not that close.
I’m still waiting. I promised people that Death by Autopsy would be out sometime this summer. I really thought it would be. I’ve published three books now, and I thought I had a better handle on how long it would take. So much for my short-term memory.
Sure, it took me two months to do the first edit. That didn’t happen with the other three books. I probably have nobody but myself to blame. Now I find myself nagging iUniverse to hurry up and get things done, because (1) I promised people, (2) I want to sell my new book at Thousand Springs, (3) I want to have a launch party, (4) I want to have a book signing at Barnes and Noble, and (5) I want to get myself on KMVT and tell everybody about it, and I want to do all that before the holidays get here and screw everything up. I want people to be able to buy many copies to give as Christmas presents.
Here’s where we are: the editing is done and we’re now in the design phase. I have chosen which layout I want for the interior of the book. You’d be surprised how many details go into deciding what the printed pages look like. I’m waiting to see which mockups I have to choose from for the book cover. Then when that’s all done, the book will go into proofreading, and then I’ll receive a preliminary printed copy of the book to review and make any changes.
After that, I can release it for publication, and then and only then can I start scheduling things. Then I’ll be able to order copies to sell at my launch party. Barnes & Noble can order copies to sell at my book signing. I can give everybody in the family a copy for Christmas.
Now, can we all close our eyes really tight and cross all our fingers and toes and wish really hard for iUniverse to hurry up and make all this possible? Maybe light a candle for me? Pretty please with chocolate sauce on it?
Because that’s what I’m doing.